mizerable - not a poem - talk to myself.
By Aixerona
i am doing horribly, and responsible, if no one will listen... i am going insane- tori amos' spark is on repeat... the end almost, ALMOST draws my tears but never quite makes me cry... i should cry. make me cry. i feel so broken- no wait that's not true. i've been broken before, thrown away, a miserable excuse for a recycle... i'm not even that. taped together and up against a wall. death is gonna hear my screams- WHY DID YOU TAKE THEM AWAY?!?!- god, i'll cry. they should change the 'here- here- here' to 'hear- hear- hear' DEAR GOD (nevermind him) hear me out hear me out PLEASE. i'm losing my mind. (ballerinas have fins that you'll never find... say you don't want it... SAY YOU DON'T WANT IT) i'm a burden, aren't i, whiny bitch, everything, spoiled brat, just HEAR ME OUT- i'm begging you to listen when i can't even talk, i'm bleeding and twisting, i'm a candle flickering- i wish. i could. burn out. it's so easy not to eat. it's SO easy NOW. it's so easy to hate myself. for it. i hate myself for this... (PLEASE DIE ANA) i don't usually uppercase, this is huge. like me. huge, fat, big fat pig (you dont get it) all you see is bones (not enough not enough not enough) dear god (nevermind that) dear .. dear.. SOMETHING. hear me out PLEASE. (she's addicted.. to nicotine patches...) i am going insane... twisting.. and writhing away in pure agony. i have to stop - i dont know why - the words - my emotions are burning my words - too many too many too many - they wont let me do anything no cutting no overdosing no this no that PLEASE please please let me do it just this once might be last please (hear) please (hear) please (hear) ...i'm sorry... i need this out.. i'm not even done. Written February 10th, 2002 © on Feb 10 2002 09:47 AM PST, Sarah Bernard 18 • 0 • 10
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"i am doing horribly, and responsible, if no one will listen... i am going insane- tori amos' spark is on repeat... the end almost, ALMOST draws my tears but never quite makes me cry... i should cry. make me cry. i feel so broken- no wait that's not true. i've been broken before, thrown away, a miserable excuse for a recycle... i'm not even that. taped together and up against a wall. death is gonna hear my screams- WHY DID YOU TAKE THEM AWAY?!?!- god, i'll cry. they should change the 'here- here- here' to 'hear- hear- hear' DEAR GOD (nevermind him) hear me out..."