spilled half my guts with missing lips

i've iced my lips just to escape your fake passion goodnihgt, pushed you in a melting iceberg and waited til there was nothing left but my eyes, my ears and your lips. it's your turn (but you just don't get it). i'm trapped in all i can't express, the beast who stole a woman's name and sunk it's claws deep 'round my flesh. the claw's law is 'don't even hint' let alone scream. invisible's the way to go. as hard as i will try, there's always a tomorrow. the sun rises, bruises me, pretends there's no tomorrow. i think they want to twist the numbers over my face, until they're just right. a scar a minute until they are. all you ever want to do is raise the sunsets, as if you forgot i was the queen born and raised to ignore the double moons and triple rainbows colliding. i like the mortal part of you (only because mine needs a hold) but i'm in love with the infinity behind your eyes. i never wanted a you-be-the-body-i-be-the-soul thing. let's both be wings of a dying phoenix. touch is when he lives again. it's my shape to hate the sun going red if there's no bloodshed. my mind races, though you're the one with drops of sugarcoat cocaine you didn't mean to take. did it show me your true nature? was this all you ever were? a mortal coil to exhibit? i'm looking through baby rose tears, finding my self of another world, hoping you've done the same before. (i can't be that unique). that's why i dipped a demon feather in my inky tears, placed it on your finger tips, sealed with a gentle kiss... but you said no. no wonder devils don't fly nowadays. i guess i love you too much to notice to waste. steam is rising, the beast sleeps, yet i can't seize the opportunity. instead, i set off remembering it's first appearance, and why it's claws had built my prison. i said invisible was the way tho go, and took it further for myself. ( a prettier invisible ) maybe that's why i keep wishing with a stroke of it's claws, a frame, a mindset built as i bled: the smaller, the prettier. interrupted, i've dried out the three pitch black clouds that set the beast to sleep. now it's growls reside deep in my stomach, clawing at my hunger or pulling at my fingers so they can play with my throat. maybe it wants me to eat at myself. can't grant the pain a fingertip, the roots are surrounded by the memory.blackout sisters. the rain's at it again, i'm caged between rattle snake shrieks, enravelled in a line called time, sinking into quiet chaos. tiny words (i've been lowercased) and broken dolls with flashing suns for eyes. i think i'll live through the end of the world, break free. a note floats off my street light river (i never do what is promised inside) i flicker. i still love you, i just can't quite make out the color of my skies (then you add to the confusion). belt buckles my tongue with a stomach ache (forget it). nevermind the held back tears, nevermind the cling to my waist, forget the questions of 'pretty yet?' (forget it) don't start worrying... he's my new you. nevermind the disease, please ignore the hints. twists my wrists and look inside: see-through's the way to be. (please.read.me) flicker my pages, try to turn (me) on. it's all about the 1313 eclipses from back when she was the moon. (but watch out for the knives and baby blades) whirpool the question marks (i said please) caught the name thief trying to drown in medication. since then (or before, with a blackout) i've become a taped up porcelain doll who's been told to lock herself (lowercase.rebel) before the first and last breaths. shaking like a leaf in a windy freezer, everything i can say with no lips.prose. Written February 14th, 2002 © on Feb 14 2002 11:47 AM PST, Sarah Bernard   0 • 10