The Abelard Solution
By Anctbedelli
THE ABELARD SOLUTION:In times pasta legend came forthof the fate of Abelardwho by seductionhad forced his attentions onHeloise.She,naive in her youthand raised to be a victim,was swept upin the romantic interlude,thus perpetuating her victim hoodand flattering Abelard's egoby providing another notch on his jockstrap.The societal morays of our pasthave portrayed this as a love storybut in our enlightenmentwe realizethat thiswas an abuse of power and trust.The father and brothers of Heloisetook the matter,and Abelard's genitalia,in handand relieved him from further sexual pressures.This solution,although radical,has its valuesin our present society.Taken figuratively,as in using the law to name names,it can have a most sobering effecton the ardent cocksman.I recommend the Abelard solutionto devictimize our daughtersin this misogynistic world. by The Ancient of the Ancient Order of Bedelli. Written October 22nd, 2001 © on Oct 22 2001 04:07 AM PST 18 • 8 • 9
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"THE ABELARD SOLUTION:In times pasta legend came forthof the fate of Abelardwho by seductionhad forced his attentions onHeloise.She,naive in her youthand raised to be a victim,was swept upin the romantic interlude,thus perpetuating her victim hoodand flattering Abelard's egoby providing another notch on his jockstrap.The societal morays of our pasthave portrayed this as a love storybut in our enlightenmentwe realizethat thiswas an abuse of power and trust.The father and brothers of Heloisetook the matter,and Abelard's genitalia,in handand relieved him from further sexual pressures.This solution,although radical,has its valuesin our present society.Taken figuratively,as in using the law to name names,it can have a most sobering effecton the ardent cocksman.I recommend the Abelard solutionto devictimize our daughtersin this misogynistic world. by The Ancient of the Ancient Order of Bedelli...."