Journal

I feel confused by my love and adoration. I pray to the stars, whispering my suffering, my doubts, my dreams. The wind carries the future as I desperately try to grasp unity. I question your intentions as I fear my heart becomes distorted. I need strength to forget the men who have abused me. Preparing for deception I crawl beneath the shadows and go unoticed. I am beneath the shadows, forbidden to see the light. You are far away, but beside me in my thoughts. I deny these feelings of love, as everyday I feel my soul stirring to clasp the moment and live in your touch. Silence brings sadness. The shadow thickens. I weep as I come to terms with the future. I must listen to my vision and take flight. The perfect love in me seeks the undying love in you. To accept your power, your strength. Knowing the challenge will bring timeless fullfillment. Such confusion, within this fragile shell. Each and every day I regret this fog I hide within. I am seldom at peace with my decision of lonliness, and am no longer content. I open my eyes to the light of morning. A new day...a new outlook. No longer shall I be afraid. I await our future. Your words are my luxuries, your respect gives me elegance. I cherish your committment, and am blessed by your sacred emotions. I thirst your presence. Trust overcomes my doubt. You saturate me in your vibrant personality. Thank you for this blessing. Our lives will contain mystery, as we are ever changing. Farther beyond these poems is our meadows, our mountains, and our forests, where we will seek the deepness of our love. Together we will bask in the fragrance of destiny. I drift in the orchards, I climb the highest mountains in praise of you. This long journey will bring us harmony and I will wait for you forever. Written February 15th, 2002 © on Feb 15 2002 03:34 AM PST   18 • 0 • 8