under this moon

sometimes....its so hard to remember the good times.. though times were never good the "better" times stand out i look at the fall clouds as they blanket the moon ah, the moon how beautiful it symbolizes joy, and no more worries it symbolizes irresponsibility, and carelessness ahh, those times..... this sky that i envision, one that ive gazed a million fold is taking me back to unbroken youth staying out late, stumbling in drunk all these wonderful memories take place under this one moon drugs and women i miss those times, those days, those nights but then theres the flipside to this moon i behold doubt sleeping in places other than my bed fear, misery from my stepfather cuz after i am violated i stare out the window at this moon eyes welling up in tears hating myself for being weak ashamed of my family and my torn face of my eyes for one sensing the foul memories and ravaged hate that ive felt u can see it in me in my eyes when i look at u , behind my smile u can hear me screaming for help for submission for death i look at u nervously ever time i talk and every time my eyes meet urs i can see u become uneasy cuz looking at me is like looking at a cemetery the lost misguided souls scream to u through my gaze the souls are these memories that wind and twist in agony everytime our eyes meet and i look at this moon with these eyes full of hate and despair and it takes me back under this moon i have lived if u want to say that im living, cuz inside i am far worse than painful death and under this moon i will die it is the watcher the profit the messenger of thought of hate of joy and u look into my eyes and u see the moon casting its reflection upon them and u turn away because u cant help me noone can and the moon witnesses me fall like one certain angel from heaven i fall from earth into death right before ur very eyes and the story is told by my icy look and recorded by the moon forever to torture me as i continue to die repititously every single day every single night under this moon.....if u like this go to www.thestarlitecafe.com for more,under dark and my penname there is Azreal too Written September 1st, 2001 © on Sep 01 2001 03:23 PM PST   0 • 1