Suck

Suck it in! says the woman on t.v. It's what your mother always told you, and it works! my mother told me that I am fine the way I am. what lies these mothers propogate. it's the fault of her genes that my skin is curdled like cottage cheese and I will never be able to have sex again or wear a bathing suit. I have been cursed. Every single thing is against me. 'It's easier to lose your gut than your butt! So thank Nature for giving you that extra fat for birthing babies!' I can't have a baby if I can't have sex. And I can't have sex with cellulite. 'You can't get rid of fat cells. But you can shrink them somewhat with exercise.' 'It's all a matter of genetics - if your mother has cellulite SO WILL YOU.' 'Women with thin skin who don't exercise have the worst cases of stubborn cellulite.' 'You can't get rid of cellulite. But you can smooth it somewhat with exercise.' 'Thin thighs - FINALLY!' 'You can't get rid of cellulite.' 'You can't get rid of cellulite.' So much for magazines. On the television there are fashion shows videos teen drama small, cute, perky bottoms - not a trace of flab thin, perfect thighs striking the air BAM! BAM! (step, step) thrusting their thighs out legs out turning on their heel and then the walk back the perfect back- side the kind that makes men want to give it to them from the back The kind of girl that he compares you to when he undresses you and finds you lacking. 'You look so much nicer in your clothes.' Or worse, a joke. 'Check out the jiggle on this ass! (SLAP!) Loose your gym membership, dollface?' Fat girls try harder. Flabby thin girls with cellulite give up. You can look but don't touch. I can look but won't touch. every mirror, every reflective surface, how do I look now? how fat do I look now? how good is my disguise today? You can look but don't touch. In the clubs - 'That's a great outfit on you. But it would look even better in a crumpled pile on my floor.' 'Your pants must be made of Windex cause I can see myself in them.' Licks finger. Wipes my shirt. 'Let's get you out of those wet clothes.' Not even they deserve the disappointment. and when they're hurt who knows what they will say what they will strike at which part of you they will ridicule first with their freinds I cannot stand their rejection. You can look but don't touch. (you might feel my fat). Somehow I gave birth to this cellulite I made it with my body by myself to betray me to betray me © on Nov 24 2001 01:38 PM PST   10 • 0