A different kind of goodbye.

***This is an e-mail I wrote to my best friend a little more than 2 weeks before I was moving a great distance away from her and she allowed herself to forget about me earlier than the designated time of departure, whether it was to help herself, or she wasn't sure what to do, of course, the names have been changed.*** I walk into the gym, a place I had adored once before. It was many years later, that I walked across that floor. I looked around the corner, I saw many I could recall. But then there was this face, which was most depressing of them all. I thought hard to the day, I had said my final goodbyes. I slowly turned around again, as tears welled up inside my eyes. I had not talked to her since 2001, more than likely 30 years ago. I wanted to tell her I missed her, but my fears began to show. I wanted to squeeze her cheeks, which were red, and rough, and dry. From a distance I could see, that she looked much older than I. She limped over to some people, I tried to recall a ladies name, when I realized she noticed me, I knew it was to be a walk of shame. I too limped closer to her, drawn by a familiar feeling. and I remembered the loneliness, something her heart was stealing. I recognized the distance, and realized the pain. But no matter what was said, we both would feel the shame. We stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say. So we stood there in silence hoping for the end of day, We both spoke no words, although she read my mind. the words "I missed you", were incredibly hard to find. I asked her a simple question, it wasn't a trivial pursuit. No matter what she answered, she'd always be so cute. Surely you remember Andrea, Ms. Cooper, she was tall, and thin, and blonde, I haven't spoke to her in 30 years, Ms. Banks but probably not as long. Years that formed between us, left our friendship in a twist. And maybe it was the last month, that should have been a mist. It came as a dark cloud, intruding on the fun. Things were getting organized, things had just begun. I never told her everything, how much she meant to me. I tried to make her happy I could not feel unguilty. A world filled with envy, a feeling I never had. Only love for a friend, which is what makes it so sad. We looked into eachother's eyes, neither know what to say. So what we do is hang our heads, as we turn and walk away.I wrote this poem a couple months ago. Please tell me what you think of this poem, it will be interesting for me to see if you get the same reaction as she did. Written November 20th, 2001 © on Nov 20 2001 07:55 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1