Holiday to Remember

Work, that's my excuse for this that's why I'm not going to call him it's not that I'm pissed He's been an ass, for at least a year Who needs a son when there's so much beer Ring ring ring, i answer the phone he says 'where's your sister' in his drunken tone A year of that shit, and he want's me to be happy, Thinks that one phone call in a year can make him number one daddy. He said he's done with the booze and the wine i should come and have supper now cause everything's fine He couldn't even call me himself, for the invite Instead get's his sister to aviod a well earned fight She says what he says like a game played just for me After so long with out him, number one dad he'll never be i don't wanna talk to him, fu*k it i don't care He's just gonna start drinking again and that i couldn't bare To see him all messed up and livin' by the bottle It's ruined his family, and his life so i'm not even going to start, to answer the phone many times to him, not even a hello son broke my heart. So here i sit, at my desk, pissed off like never before so upset at what he's done to me, i'm not gonna let him hurt me anymore. I went to sleep that night and never thought about him the next day i awoke and thought a thought that was so grim What if i don't call him, he'll never know what i'm like now, i've got a kick ass job and i've worked alot of things out instead of getting upset and fighting i try to resolve so why do i try it now? it would be nice to hear his voice..and accually saying my name I don't think i'd wanna fight, who cares how it started we'll label no blame I dial the phone to answer his call for a family get together, after all it is thanks giving and he is my only father. My mom and sister are gone this week end so least i will have him we'll talk and tell of stories, over the year we haven't been. I dial the number to my aunt's house, in hopes that he will answer it rings rings rings but nothing not even a whisper So i hang up and figure hey it's the week end a Holiday at that they must be sleeping in I try again a few minutes pass and i've got someone on the line it's not my dad though it's my aunt, crying and can't speak, telling me everything will be just fine I ask her what's the problem? and she's having some trouble speaking I thought maybe they're drunk i bet they went back to drinking When i thought that thought it filled me with rage, He's drunk another holiday, so turn the fucking page I ended up saying it, right aloud my aunt interupts me saying, he was sober last night you would've been proud I asked her whats the problem, why she can't stop She keeps on crying, i can almost hear the tears drop I finally settle down and calmly started to speak, I'm sorry i didn't call last night, it's been a busy week She says it would have been nice, i mean if you did He was great last night he was having fun and we ate He made the supper, and there was an extra plate. But i wasn't there instead i just bitched most of the evening i couldn't stop the itch to get that revenge, and make him suffer cause he didn't talk to me for a year.. and show him now i'm tuffer She stops crying for a moment, in that moment this is what was said... Adam i don't know how to say this, Your father.... He's deadThis is something i would definitely like to do over again..not the poem but the situation. Those were my selfish thoughts during that night and morning, and it all changed when i heard the end. This poem has a short continuation. called "A little to late" it's two poems up i think.. if you found this one interesting at all, you should read what happened after that call. it won't take as much time as this one did.. and for anyone that read this whole thing... thank you so much! i'll try to make them shorter from now on lol Written October 28th, 2001 © on Oct 28 2001 10:59 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1