a lesson

crashing and thrashing against these rocks. up and down, my thoughts circle of you and of you and of you. now I am of you, from you, through you.  a carcass. and you, the predator circling over me.  I couldn't see you through that fog.  thick and yellow enrapturing me, filling my mouth, my ears.  jagged bits of volcanic glass break the skin of my palms, my knees.  Still i crawl, weep, wail and wonder.  Toward you.  it was uncontrollable, aching. starving at the bottom of that crudely dug pit desperate for any small crumb, drop or morsel you chose to throw down, of you.  I starve.  Cringe at the thought of your hands, small and sturdy, probing and uncaring fingers, on me, around me, inside me.  Pushing me away, not worthy of you.  Still i drag my self over razor rocks, sand and thick viscous come in my mouth.  you go on as before, your reflection clear and captivating. i stand staring through the mirror at you.  screaming, tear at my hair and face.  Blood of my life pools and coagulates around you, oblivious.  Hang up again. i bend down to begin licking and tasting, bile rising as i lick myself back together.  Painfully ingesting, absorbing what you have left for me.  a giant monolith on a cliff side, barren and desolate.  you are absolutely awe inspiring, new to me.  such pure predatory instincts coupled with narcissistic resolve.  you, blackened and hollow, laughing and drinking.  Fucking.  Friend.  I pray for karmic justice.i wrote this a while ago, and I keep coming back and revising it...and feeling the strange desire to post the small changes...nothing new though. Written January 16th, 2002 © on Jun 19 2002 06:58 AM PST   18 • 0 • 10