Old Girlfriend, New Friend

Old girlfriend from years ago suddenly appearing just to say, 'Hi', And it's been over 30 years since our informal goodbye. At least it's on the Internet, and she found my name (she hopes), on some site. Should I give her my email address; somehow that doesn't feel right. Hope my wife doesn't mind, though you know damned well that she will. Maybe I should just ignore the message, and let it go--still... She says she lives in Tennessee, so she's not exactly close-by. What would it hurt to catch up on family--to see who's still living, or departed...Or to explain why. Just a few words to clear the record of my sudden changes of mind. How I was too young then, and her too, and all the reasons I couldn't find. And about living in combat, or traveling to a star... Perhaps to even come home again...to drink my self under the bar. I guess it's best to leave those old memories alone; I'm not living them anyway. But all that didn't bother me, 'til she contacted me today. 29 October, 1968. The last time I saw her, and left her standing at the gate. I caught my flight to fantasy, and she headed home to wait. We made our vow to marry if I didn't come home too late. I woke up dreaming; a dream I still recall. Just three more months to live in sand, and mud, and grass way too tall. But then I felt the shadow obliterating mine. The letter came to warn me of the sadness I would find. So I pushed time back six months more, to try and ease the pain. I scorched my eyes on bright sunlight, and lived out in the rain; but once more the time for leaving came, and this time I fly. Back to the land of never more; back to the land of 'why?'. So through the years I spent my time forgiving and forgetting. Not tough enough to dig too deep for fear of who's blood I'd be letting. And now old wounds have begun to ache, but no blood issues forth. I'm happy in my married life--I know just what it's worth. So, yes, it's okay to talk to her, and I can say without regret, 'Hey, Sandy, I'm doing fine with my life. Am I happy now,...you bet! Written September 7th, 2001 © on Sep 06 2001 05:49 PM PST   0 • 8