For my Jenn

I look at you sleeping, Remembering in a crib you slept, So tiny and fragile, Stuffed animals bigger then you yet. My how you've grown, I never thought you would still be with me, Now almost sixteen, You stands as tall as me. You've always been my fighter, The stubborn one, Toughing out battles, That I never could have won. Those words still ring in my ears, Your daughter will probably not survive, Gut wretching years of watching your pain, Thank goodness you're still by my side. No one wants to see their child suffer, As a parent you want to kiss all the hurt away, When you hear Mommy am I gonna die? How do you answer, when you don’t know. So I told you a story, I don’t know if it was to make you feel better, Or me, But, this is how it went. I said “God sent me a special gift”, And that gift was you, He let me borrow you to raise, And love your whole life through. I don’t know how long you have, Before our time is gone, I don’t know if I will die first, Or God will take you back before I’m done. All of us God has put on Earth, For a reason, It may be for a long time, It may be for a few seasons. So if God decides to call you home, To take you from my arms, Even though I will miss you dear, I will know your safe from harm. You smiled up at me, Chemo running through your veins, You said Mommy I would miss you, It wouldn’t be the same. We sat together that night, Holding tight to each other, A child of God in my arms, Thanking God, he let me be your mother.My little fighter had Leukemia diagnosed at the eve of her 3rd birthday...We were lucky she has survived...God Bless all the poor children that didn't.... Written February 20th, 2002 © on Feb 20 2002 10:09 AM PST   18 • 0 • 8