'Undesired Survival'

I wished not to outlast this, but I have survived~ searched coast to coast for my end, but (I'm still alive) Don't know what tommorow holds, but I know there's (nowhere left for me to hide)~ only am I forced to face it head on, begging it to consume me, instead I consume it in a matter of short time And it becomes a part of me, I will overcome every challenge I intentionaly had made~ had made to destroy myself, imortality and nocturnity be the curse I endure through (Misanthropic flames) I am the (Shadow), the night time shade, through sickness and depression stand alone in the glade~ scars on my wrists from an idle blade, my joy & physical health are the only things that've been maimed But not enough to put an end to this (undesired survival), I am consistently denied by the grim reapor~ watching the dissolving of all my favorite lovers, this accursed life I fear, will never be over Someday, after my four hundreth & seventy third birthday, after I had spent those years a freelance rover~ and have done whatever I must in the name of survival, my grandchildren nine times great, will then begin to wither I (dissolve in tears), eternal youth, yet my insides have all decayed~ I do not wish to overcome any of these obstacles (I myself had made) Respectfuly Dead, ~Timmy G. Written January 21st, 2002 © on Jan 20 2002 06:08 PM PST   10 • 0 • 1