Honestly (It's All True)

I've been crying for two hours on this bed that isn't mine anymore; Nothing's mine anymore except these tears. I lie back and never want to get up because all I'll see is an empty room An empty room filled with tears. There's no one here to hold me... I don't know who should be here. It doesn't even matter anymore anyone who isn't lying anyone who cares. That's why I'm so alone. Alone with a life that doesn't care and lied to me, said everything would be alright. Flipping channels because nothing's on (nothing sad enough to relate to). I want to be the virgin on the altar because she either dies (and escapes) or is rescued by Love. I am so lost without you, Love. I'm still not sure whether I'm dead or alive but I suspect the former. I should read a sad book and then jump off the ramparts of whatever dark castle I find therein. I wonder if anyone (preferably someone tall, dark, and handsome, but it's not a requirement) would reach out their hand to catch me or would they laugh when I hit the rocks (naturally I would miss the water)? If my soul were stolen by a mirror I might find solace in the reflection because it would be a lie. I'm not strong enough to know myself, Im not strong enough to know Love, but I pretend that I am because if I can't pretend then all I have left is the truth and the truth hurts too much for this all to be just a bad dream. Written November 26th, 2001 © on Nov 26 2001 06:27 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1