Mom I'm Sorry (Suicide Letter)

I’m sorry but I just Can’t do this anymore Pain fills my heart Struck down to the core All I do seem useless I try for something better But I just keep grabbing air That’s how it’s been forever One can only take so much And I feel I’m at my peak My hand is shaking badly And my knees are getting weak I just don’t know What should I even do? Now I’m scared and having doubts Help me where are you? I’m sorry I can’t help it I’m not strong like you think If I stab this thing into me Will it be over in a blink? I don’t know what to do Where are you when I need you most? Off drinking with your friends I bet This time you’re the host People try to run my life But I wouldn’t let them in How could I give up now? They would only win I’m sorry I don’t make you happy I’m sorry I make you mad I’m sorry I’m not perfect Sorry I made you sad Sorry I can’t be great Sorry I tried but failed I’m sorry I can’t handle it all It rained then snowed then hailed I’m sorry that I’m not Who you want me to be I’m sorry I can’t help it And for that I’m sorry that I'm me Often times I wonder Why I am not stronger Why my heart bleeds so much Will it last any longer? Sorry I have to go now This letter has come to an end Mom I love you so much You are my only friend Please don’t cry for me Don’t miss me too much Just close your eyes and look in your heart And you will feel my touchWrote in Math... and it just came to me... I'm not feeling it at this particular moment in time... but I think it's okay... sadness ::sigh:: Written January 15th, 2002 © on Jan 15 2002 05:48 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1