The Final Cut

Tears They’re like tiny little daggers flowing down my face. Over my little chin they slide making their way down my neck. The gouge themselves in my heart, like needles they draw blood. My sweet ruby red blood spilling out on the floor. Be careful don’t get your feet wet. No one would want that now would they? Blood Red Curtain That’s all it is. My blood shields your eyes so you can’t see me. Ha! You can’t see me so that’s means nothing can be wrong. How do I know which is the real me? If I don’t know how will you? Don’t worry about me I’m okay. If you were different you’d see I was wrong. All The Same Yes that’s right, that is all you are. Two faces liars. You are cowards. You are afraid of me aren’t you. I won’t hurt you, don’t worry about it. No it’s okay I’m perfectly fine. You are all the same so I can lie to myself… and no one will know. Broken Heart That’s all it is. Broken as shattered glass. Just like lil ole’ Humpty Dumpty. Couldn’t but him back together again. What makes you think anyone would try with me?  That’s it I’m just disappointed with life. I can’t make mine any better so I have no reason to stay here anymore. Undeserving I don’t deserve the friends I have. I love you all really I do. I am just hurting you all and you don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve people like a certain one. He’s too good for me. I’m just a little brat who is being selfish is that it? I can’t seem to find my way out. Through Two Eyes That’s how I see it. I am such a fucked up person that I know what I am doing. I can see what I am doing and I want to laugh and cry at the same time. My heart hurts, it bleeds. It bleeds for normality. I hate my life The Final Cut That’s it the act is over. I am through curtain calls. I am done with and washed up it’s over. I can’t handle this anymore so I am dead. No more people saying they don’t know the answers. There are no answers. I didn’t make it past the final cut of life, cast out now I am a nobody. I love you all even though you don’t love me. Please don’t miss me, I don’t mean anything. Just another girl with no answers. Slowly the angry scar winds itself across my body. Screaming that is my soul. It’s too late for me… I didn’t make it.No more... none. Written November 13th, 2001 © on Nov 13 2001 11:06 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1