Waiting

The water I drink flows right through me As I sit here… thinking of you How I don’t even know you And I wish I did Other people know you why don’t I? Another sip and I think of how I would like you to be All the things we would do together What we would talk about What we would write about What we would think And I’m here all alone in my daydream As the minutes pass Turning into hours… And I wish I could sit here forever Because I’m tired of searching Life calls me and I’ve got things to do But I don’t know how to do them anymore I’ve got people to see… But I can’t stand them anymore I’ve got a life to life… But no one to share it with… It’s not fair I always think What have I done to deserve what I’ve got? Maybe “god” is punishing me for not believing in him I don’t know… I want to cry and run outside in the woods But I’m surrounded by houses… sand… palm trees… And dirty rotten people who only care about themselves I’ve got this pain inside my chest that won’t go away When will things change for me? It’s so frustrating doing all you can only to be stopped By something you can’t change No matter how hard I try No more water… and I’ve got to get up You plague me with your thoughts… your hopes… you dreams But I don’t want you to leave me alone I guess I’ll keep on trying and loving myself… But you know, it’s hard when no one else does I often think to myself, how do I do it? Because if I were anyone else… I’d be falling down And I do fall down… but I get back up All by myself. Which are how most things are in my life So I’ll be sitting here drinking my water Thinking of you Or who I think you are Or what I think you are Or what you think about me Loving myself And waiting for you… to love me tooTired. Written February 19th, 2002 © on Feb 19 2002 09:27 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1