Dreams

It used to be that I smiled in my dreams i was invincible but now, not so it seems I cry as i sleep nightmare afternightmare I become a helplesschild Everything is so desolate and bare. Gore and blood It's all i see a failure, a letdown It's all I'll ever be Now not just in real life In my sleep, the beautiful night Now I hate to sleep with my eyes I fight. No more sunshine and rainbows They have drowned in fear Fear that I have brought on and won't go away with a beer. I hate to admit it my suicidal solutions But I can't help it I live in a world of polutions. Why can't I run Through this optical allusion. A mind of chaos is dying Not sure of the confusion. I do not wish to make sence of all this But can I die and find my bliss. It's not in my life now That I am scared to walk My dreams are reality. Through them, God talks. He hates how I live in constant orrow Is there another way to make it to tomarrow? Do I have to sleep close my eyes and dream? Relieve my life every night and see my dead sole beam into the darkness? I think it's the sky, but i come to find out It's just another lie. I'd give anything o live a dull life, to sleep soundly and never use the blade of a knife here i wait for the end of this dream the truth I bend I did not ask for this. Though I did not beg for a happy life in the womb Did God know I'd end with a knife? And if he did Damn his being and for this Hell I will be seeing. Attempted murder upon myself that night the pits of hell were within plain sight. Now in my dreams I live there and dwell "Your soul" says the devil, "you should sell. Sell it for happiness for the rest of this life But the devil is a Z timer His or my life? Where does the happiness go? If mine, in my dream I really want my soul and see how it beams Insomniac slob praying I'll live through this decision my life I might give. The stars are shining brightly keeping me up tonight Isn't there an off switch to this bright light?!? I can't take this I need to sleep body or soul which should I keep? In my dreams I am constntly in fear something is disturbing about the blood I smear across a window, on a mirror. Nothing gets gets better, or any clearer. When I wake I cry till I sleep because I just can't! I can't take this life I keep. My wish tonight: My mind will go blind I can not see the fear On my heart I sighned. Blood red, The color of my dreams It hounts me at night at least that's what it seems.This is the same poem as" In my dreams" Written January 3rd, 2002 © on Jan 03 2002 12:48 PM PST   18 • 0 • 1