Loss
By jlidgee
Loss.Darkness falls like snow, deep and glittery, sticking to me like a deathas I shiver home from the library with an armload of books.A cold wind blows below her third floor window,brightly lit because she is scaredto walk alone upon a darkness- I remember how she used to stare at me with her frightened drug-eyes.I look up for her but she is not there,or maybe I just can’t see her; I can’t see her much anymore, her eyes closed into a different dream- I remember how she used to cut mewith her joyful electric smiles.I have lost her, and I am losing her more with each moment,as the final weeks float by as sad little boats down to the sea,one after another down to the sea.My best and most gentle friend once, as her arms fell around me when I was cold and I was always cold, teeth chattering away, as she talked with me when I was alone and I was always alone, with blank underwater eyes.But you cannot make someone love you.I will find someone else.But I do not want anyone else.I don’t even want her anymore -it is too late.I let her go and off she flies, a feather directing the wind,beyond even my dreams it seems,and when the dreams stop you know something is really ending.In her letter she asks me if we ever real friends at all,and I cannot stop crying. Written October 7th, 2001 © on Oct 07 2001 03:51 PM PST 18 • 0 • 1
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"Loss.Darkness falls like snow, deep and glittery, sticking to me like a deathas I shiver home from the library with an armload of books.A cold wind blows below her third floor window,brightly lit because she is scaredto walk alone upon a darkness- I remember how she used to stare at me with her frightened drug-eyes.I look up for her but she is not there,or maybe I just can’t see her; I can’t see her much anymore, her eyes closed into a different dream- I remember how she used to cut mewith her joyful electric smiles.I have lost her, and I am losing her more with each moment,as the final weeks float by as sad little boats down to the sea,one after another down to the sea.My best and most gentle friend once, as her arms fell around me when I was cold and I was always cold, teeth chattering away, as she talked with me when I was alone and I was always alone, with blank underwater eyes.But you cannot make someone love you.I will find someone else.But I do not want anyone else.I don’t even want her anymore -it is too late.I let her go and off she flies, a feather directing the wind,beyond even my dreams it seems,and when the dreams stop you know something is really ending.In her letter she asks me if we ever real friends at all,and I cannot stop crying...."