Advocatus Diaboli - The Undertaker

The undertaker sups on the "Grateful Dead" ... A ring of fire circles his head ... Vultures flock to his carrion table ... Big breasted whores are willing and able ... to sup with him on the corpulent dead. "Watusi Man" is soft and gentle ... he'll only eat "whitey" when he's sentimental. Or any other time he's able. (And he likes salt and pepper.) "Little Miss Muffet" sitting in a corner is screwing the hell out of "Little Jack Horner". (She's wants to blow his brains out.) "Kojak" must be out of work cause he's looking for a hard job or was that an odd job? Or maybe a head job? Or a bow job? (the (L) is missing!) "Hannah, Hannah" from Alabama has searched the world for the right banana. Or was that bandana? Or a piana? Or a soprana? Dear girl, would you feel at home in "Alantis"? "Ghult, Ghult" our symbol of lucidity, is studying a course on morbidity. Or was that rigidity? Or maybe frigidity? Or proclivity? Whatever ... he's able to fog our minds like the "Shadow". Remember him? "Jenny, Jenny" up and left cause our horns of plenty were not enough. I wrote her a poem of love for a gentle stroke, but now she's gone just like "Up In Smoke" (Movie filmed at my Step Daughter's house in Venice). Ain't that the shits! For all of you out there, not in the know and hard on the go ... life without Vaseline can be tough. But grab your ankles anyway, and we'll make it rough. You'll get the chance to really strut your stuff. "!Aye, me mata!" (or in English) "Aye, you're killin' me!" I told you .. you'd need Vaseline. Screams echo from the walls a million nights of pacing the halls. Bits of the dead pop out of our heads. Sweet slime flows down our throats We seek salvation, hope for our souls, and soap for our holes. (Like to do it in the shower?) Undertaker, undertaker how do you do? Be careful sucker that woman you're on might be our mother and your sister too. (Standing on the street corner shouting, "Who will buy my RING-DANG-DO? It so big and black, looks just like a pussy cat. Baby ... that's my RING-DANG-DO! Hallelujah!" What right do you have to hump the dead? Just because they are pure, neat, and sanitary ... their hair is matted and their breath is rancid. Doesn't these raw incisions turn your penis red? Dulce est desipere in loco ... cause baby you're sure loco in el coco! Consequently, if there is "verga" in question ... you've gotta' find out the dimensions. Paz en la tierra y buena voluntad a todo el mundo. Go swiftly, go gentle ... but go now ... cause the undertaker's ravin' and its your ass he's cravin'. So... scat, scat, scat .. out of here. © William M. Sowman Written March 21st, 2002 © on Mar 20 2002 03:38 PM PST   17 • 0 • 1