Mother - Laughing In The Shadows

I am! I am! - a very goofy writer. Laughing in the shadows puts a strain on Mother smiling down from up above ... her poor wretched heart now at peace. Freed from agony, I drain my emotions thru a tiny sea of sieves - children laugh and point at me. They know the monster that I be ... such a goofy writer - terror grows and grows! The monster hides beneath my bed. Is the monster me and we? No! ... be of good cheer ... the monster is dead! Laughter forms inside the shadows. Dark forms smile with taunting force. Fear subsides, we mock evil with each laughing breath - exhaling our devils as we digest their death. Yes, I am a very goofy writer growing brighter, lighter, tighter to my thrusts as lust appears. In our grief we fantasize control but grief leaves us heart- broken ... loneliness is always near and we despair while laughing in the dark ... Mother! Can you hear my laughter and see my tears? I am! I am! a very goofy writer. My soul feels dead. (c) by William Sowman (2000)THIS IS THE COMMENT I POSTED ON 'bonnie blue" ... Read her poem ... "DAMN YOU" then dry your eyes...................... This poem or verse or whatever you call truth said words that I have had in my mind for years. Words of love and hate for those closest to me. I have carried it with me into the twilight of my life and now the dam is breaking and I am bawling like a baby. You have released a river of my tears and I hope they flow through and join you on a journey to the sea, where our tears can mingle and cleanse our hearts until there are no more tears to cry and no more hatred inside us but bonnie blue ... my hatred runs on both side Mother and Father and never have I had any lessening in hatred toward my Father. But I have come to terms somewhat with what I feel about Mother. Poor alcoholic who had no choice and no one to care about her not even me, her only son. I am going to post a tribute to her after I write this. Please go read it in a little while ... it is called 'Mother - Laughing In The Shadows.' And almost no one has read it before when I posted it. Thank you bonnie blu for opening up like this. You reached my soul. Bill Written March 29th, 2002 © on Mar 29 2002 12:30 PM PST   17 • 0 • 1