Why ME? (beware of content!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

BEWARE OF CONTENT  !!!!!!!!! I am 4 Daddy you are hurting me. You touch me in ways I don't understand. Are all daddies this way? Do my friends daddies touch them like this? "Don't tell----trust me---this is right----mommy will blame you." I hate his closeness. I hate you daddy----GO AWAY! I am 6 Why doesn't anybody stop him? Don't they hear? Everyone must know..... Isn't it written on my forehead? "Don't tell.....You are to blame." I am 8 If I don't breathe when he comes in my room I will be invisible. And then... The pain will cease. GO Away you bastard....I hate you....just go away. Oh god, He is gone, They took ME away..... Are you punishing me? Did I do something wrong? Why are you taking me away Instead of him? Is it because of our secret? Am I that powerful? Can I really wish him to go away? I am only 9 Please God... Bring me back to him. My new mommy says... "don't cry..." So, I hide, I will not feel this pain. I have been taught well. Silence. I am 15 If time heals all wounds Then why do I bleed---- STILL? I come to this new place.... AGAIN. It is warm, It is safe, Hands are reaching out to help me LET GO, TRUST, FEEL, TALK, We will carry part of the burden now. Hold me, Rock me, Don't let me go, I am afraid. I will DIE if I tell. That's what he said.. Why do I feel 4? To talk..... To breathe.... Let the pain and fear subside. Write about it. Cry about it. Scream about it. Talk about it. Grieve, For the lost childhood. I am 30 I am angry. I feel. I trust. I am no longer a secret. But~~~~ Who am I? Written April 12th, 2002 © on Apr 11 2002 04:21 PM PST   0 • 1