Doorways

I was just sitting there- I looked over, and there you stood, in the doorway. I was so happy to see your face, that I forgot all about how long you kept me waiting there, sitting there... for you. Your face does something to me. Your existence makes me feel as if I don't exist. I love you so much- yet your so wrong... You always seem to make me feel so loved when you just appear in doorways... but so completly fucked up when you don't even bother to walk through. For some strange reason, it doesn't matter what you say, or what kind of person you are- I can't even be myself when you walk through the door, and just appear like those other times before. You could say the worst thing in the world to me, (like you have...) and still- I always end up on my knees.. begging you to take me back. What for- I dont know. ...Maybe so you can keep me sitting there- and when you finally show up I wont care. Because you know that you can always 'just appear' and I wont say a word except think my silent thoughts. I hate you, but I love you, all at once. I must be crazy- to keep letting you just appear- out of the blue- whenever you want too... But there is no other face that I'll ever look for- after I see yours walk through- that door.spur of the moment poem...scribbles down some thoughts. Written October 19th, 2001 © on Oct 19 2001 01:32 PM PST   0 • 8