Killer Pubic Hair

Late one night when I came home drunk, Feelin all woozy and covered with funk. I’d drank a lot of beer and had ta take a piss, So I threw up the lid cuz I didn’t wanna miss. There on the seat that was white as white could be, Sat the biggest pubic hair that my eyes did ever see. It was springy, it was curly, it was lashing out at me, It was nasty, it was surly and was grabbin at my knee. Well I whipped out my Johnson so’s to wash it down the drain But it grabbed at my thingy that’s connected to my frame. It was springy, it was curly, so I used a whip and chair It was nasty, it was surly, that’s the killer pubic hair. At first I was a calm ole boy, no trouble could I see, A pubic hair’s a pubic hair, could not contend with me. But as the fight wore on and on and me being pretty drunk, I felt myself a fadin fast and goin fer a dunk. It was springy, it was curly, it was really being unfair, It was nasty, it was surly, that’s the killer pubic hair. First one leg and then the other, dragged into the bowl. Finally the rest of me vanished down that hole. It was springy, it was curly, it had finally reached it’s goal, It was nasty, it was surly, all that’s left of me is soul. And the moral of this story is as plain as plain can be, If you come home in a drunken state and hafta take a pee. Go back outside your doggone house and find a little tree For surely in your bathroom lurks the killer that got me. It is springy, it is curly, and it really is unfair, It is nasty, it is surly, it's the killer pubic hair. And if that is not what gets ya cuz ya didn’t lift the seat, (There’s not a drunken man around that really is that neat) It’s the little woman sleeping who gets up to take a pee For when she sits in wetness, you’ll be drunken history. Written December 26th, 2001 © on Dec 26 2001 07:48 AM PST, same as above   10 • 0 • 16