Infatuations

“Fuck it all!” “I wish you would die.” I can’t believe this disappointment. Disappointment in the one thing I loved most… You. “YOU BASTARD!” I yell…but you do not even care to look up. Is it that you’re angry with me? Or that you’re a COWARD?! “I loved you!” “I truly loved you.” I listen to the sounds of my voice. Scared and angry. “Scared and angry…” I hoarsely whisper. I’m unsure now I’m frightened by this feeling. I feel vulnerable. YOU MADE ME THIS WAY YOU BASTARD! I can’t think about anything but you. You…..that’s all that runs through my mind. You had nothing to do with this infatuation, But you have all to do with this relationship, And its ending. I look at your beautiful face, Helpless really. Helpless against my anger that you had nothing to do with. I feel sympathetic but still angry. Angry with myself! Angry at the world! But never at you… I could never be angry with you. Without thinking, my hand caresses your soft face. “Beautiful.” You don’t dare to look me in the eye. With that, I turn and leave. Leaving my home, my world, and the one thing I loved behind. All because of a silly infatuation. Infatuations, of you.This is about me after i found out a guy that i thought was totally hot was gay. lol. Written April 18th, 2002 © on Apr 18 2002 09:05 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1