Why
By Noelani
I don't know whyI have let you do this to meBreaking me down with your every wordI try to let myself believe that you're not serious, you're telling a lieThen my thoughts were invadedAnd my string of hope breaks, my happiness goes dryMaybe what he tells me is trueWhat if that's who I am? Maybe I shouldn't be cryingThen what happens to my self-esteem?When I am alone after he says 'It's been real. Good bye.'?What will happen then?Should I ask so many questions, should I trySo hard until I know I will not be whole again?I guess I will never be myself without have to pry.I won't ever know why he beat me downI won't ever know if he meant what he saidMaybe he always meant I was not someone to loveI was just someone who was thereI was a person who let him feel like he was importantHe was a person who liked to make me feel lost and smallSomeone who loved him, but never got love backSomeonw who will never be a whole person againI will never be the same because of what he did to me. Written October 1st, 2000 © on Oct 17 2001 11:24 AM PST 18 • 0 • 1
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"I don't know whyI have let you do this to meBreaking me down with your every wordI try to let myself believe that you're not serious, you're telling a lieThen my thoughts were invadedAnd my string of hope breaks, my happiness goes dryMaybe what he tells me is trueWhat if that's who I am? Maybe I shouldn't be cryingThen what happens to my self-esteem?When I am alone after he says 'It's been real. Good bye.'?What will happen then?Should I ask so many questions, should I trySo hard until I know I will not be whole again?I guess I will never be myself without have to pry.I won't ever know why he beat me downI won't ever know if he meant what he saidMaybe he always meant I was not someone to loveI was just someone who was thereI was a person who let him feel like he was importantHe was a person who liked to make me feel lost and smallSomeone who loved him, but never got love backSomeonw who will never be a whole person againI will never be the same because of what he did to me...."