Thank You

Every time I look up, I see that you don't know me. I can tell you don't care what I feel, That you don't believe I am hurting inside. I'm not the ice queen, you know. I'm not a terribly bitchy person who complains About every damned stupid thing you said. If I was, I'd never shut up. Remember those times when everything you said pissed me off? Yeah, wasn't I quiet then? And when you said you needed me after we broke up And that you'd love me forever, The next day you'd moved on And were talking about "getting laid this weekend" You asshole!  I don't even love you You just fed me stupid little lies As much as I tried, I couldn't accept that I knew they were lies. I wanted to believe you when you said you loved me, That you needed me to stay off drugs, That you'd always be by my side... That I should wait a week or two. Maybe you should pull the plug on your fucking hormones. Hurrah, Greg's getting it from his "new girlfried" On the THIRD DAY of the relationship-SO HAPPY FOR YOU. Oh, no, wait.  I lied. Shit, it's about time I did that, after the numerous times you lied to me. Why don't you understand that if you're in love It takes a while to bounce back? I've been in love, you haven't You don't know what you're talking about. I have been hurt, I've been emotionally scarred millions of times. For years people, namely MEN, have been butchering me. Just to have a glimpse of what it's like to date me. You'll never know what it's like to BE me, People don't follow you for barely a real reason Just to say some half-assed apology for how their friends treat me. You know what?  I'm bitching at you because you're the latest Person who made me incredibly mad. I don't really care if you cry your forsaken eyes out. At least it won't be me crying this time Over you, over someone else, over life, over the fact that I have to breathe I don't want to go on, but yet I must, Because my mother can't get tax returns if I'm dead. Anyhow, thanks for pissing me off, I needed that to get this out of my system. I guess all there is left to say is as follows: Thank you SOO much for being a mother fucking dumbassed bastard.  I needed that. Written April 18th, 2002 © on Apr 18 2002 11:30 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1