'stressed'

singing in my mind swaying in my skin pumped up full of adrenaline ready to face the challenge of being with myself swimming through thoughts jumping over memories tagging along for the ride unable to stay behind unwilling to let go head fragile throat dry lids scratching over dry eyes teeth grinding jaw rigid and aching bitter saliva stinging cracked and swollen lips muscles tight heart stomping stomach churning bowels clenching limbs shaking hands fluttering toes fidgeting skin cold and sweating body fighting to be free breath held lungs tight head pulsing pain ripping through my mind emerging through every fibre tearing at every join screaming along nerves bubbling through veins unable to focus tense, wound tight mind, being, ripped and forced torn and beaten running away inside furtively glancing at every angle chased and dragged taunted and manipulated stress - I can't describe breath in breath out breath in breath out How do you console yourself to the fact that you're terrified to be alone in your own mind afraid of what you're capable of, dreading your future and resenting you're past, uncertain of anything, searching for answers or clues to events and thoughts that you are unable to describe. Trying to hide from yourself unable to escape your own mind.Apr '97 I probably shouldn't be posting these old dark words as they were very painful and difficult to write but I feel the need to purge so I am doing it here. Hoping these memories will save me from entering the dark realm or bring back the inner turmoil again. Beware all ye who enter here! ;) Written February 2nd, 2002 © on Feb 01 2002 05:40 PM PST    0 • 10