Siting Around

As I sit here in this dark hell hole, I have voices running through my mind. How could I have let him go? Why was I so stupid? As walls close in around me, I start to feel claustrophobic. All the buzzes of the bees flying around me, Are starting to get to me, Corrupting my mind, killing my sprit. Blood changes to bleach, Drips to the floor and cleans up all the messes of my fucked life. Why does life throw curveballs? Life is just not always fair. Eyes are the windows to someone’s sprit, His eyes were so deep, And his mind was free.  Why was he taken from me so young? Why do I blame myself for what happened? Is it even my fault? When a heart stops beating, Does it stop loving? Souls live on, hearts never stop loving, As long as you are always loved. What happens to me never matters, If I live, die, it is all a part life. I will never be able to control it. I was never able to help him, As he laid there helpless, slipping away. I would take his place any day, Why wouldn’t god let me? He didn’t need to die. Life might go on after someone close to you dies. Your life will never be the same. There will be scars on your soul, That might be good or bad. But you will always love the one you lost. Love lives on, Memories keep you strong. Why do memories hurt sometimes? Because you know that can’t happen with them again. He is gone, I am here, And life is cruel at times, But memories help you survive.originaly written 1-6-02 about my cat that was my best friend! Written February 19th, 2002 © on Feb 19 2002 12:24 PM PST   18 • 0 • 12