no school days are meant to be trouble

sitting around, no school today try pacing to keep awake laying around, no school today just drink until the clock has circled all the way it is late afternoon as you walk through the rooms of a house that is quiet except for unanswered telephones you stand near the sink while youre mixing a drink you think you dont want to pass out where your roommates will find you again stumble around the neighborhood with nothing to do youre always looking for something to sniff, smoke, or swallow calling over next door to see what they got but you would settle for anything that would make your brain slow down or stop break this circle of thoughts you chase before the catch back up with you and your parents noticied your thinning face, all the weight you lost all the weight you are losing you said, "im done feeling like a skeleton no more sleep walking dead" youre going to wake from this coma youre going to crawl from this bed you have made and stop counting on that camera that hangs round your neck because it wont ever remember what you choose to forget as you try to find some source of light try to name one thing you like you used to have such a longer list and light you never had to look for it but now its so easy to second guess everything you do until all you want is to finish this half empty glass before the ice melts away this feeling used to pass but seems like its every day and every night now Written February 21st, 2002 © on Feb 20 2002 03:22 PM PST   0 • 10