Just Me
By turpisfemina
So beautiful. Thousands of silver silhouettes float softly by me in this empty void. So thin. They hold themselves with pride and smile with their crimson lips. So perfect. The whole world. So perfect. And I, I am me, just me. Fat. Not thin like they. Ugly. Not beautiful like everyone else. With crying blue eyes, not deep and bright like theirs. A rough face, worn with tears, not age. Fourteen years old, Five feet and five inches tall. Not beautiful like they. Never beautiful like they. Blonde hair, tangled from endless sobs, is singed at the ends from leaning too far into the flames of the candles on the floor. I am just me. Only me. One hundred and twenty pounds. Too much. Way too much. Why can’t I be thin, beautiful like everyone else. But I am me. Just me. Never caring enough. Never kind enough. Why can’t I be wonderful like everyone else. Oh yeah. I’m just me. Only me. But what is that? I don’t want to be me anymore. I’m not beautiful. Not kind. I can’t even write a stupid poem. I can’t even think. Why can’t I be wonderful and beautiful like they? Because I am me. Just me. Written April 1st, 2002 © on Apr 01 2002 08:31 AM PST 18 • 0 • 10
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"So beautiful...."