Die For You

Staying away from the world knowing IM not supposed to be here, asking god what did he see in this world? for me to be here. I ask and say what's for to day but never get an answer. I try so hard to be the best I can and think if I'M not perfect god will not give me a helping hand.I try so hard to show I care I would cut my wrists just to make someone stair!. I would shoot the gun that is in my hands and aim for my head as I was lying in my bed. I would take my life to save another just to make things right and kill these feeling that's hurting me so badly tonight, these feelings aren't right. I would drink poison that's in a glass I would put my face under water to drown my past I would throw my self in front of a car but that wouldn't get my regrets very far. I would jump off a bridge and hope to hit the rocks only to hit the water and live in a bed but still be alive. I would hang my self from the moon, if I new god wasn't coming for me soon. I would jump through a window if I new my body would shatter like I was never born, I would close my eyes and whisper if I new someone could hear me. I would leave these feelings behind me if I new someone would kill me. when I look around I see death, when I wake up I smell death, when I listen softly I hear death. I am bound to die, even if my heart ruptures or I cry my heartaches, and I cannot live with out you, and my life is all I have to give you. And here I stand over a cliff, looking down as the wind hits my hair, and I feel the talking of others, although there not around, and I'M glowing like an angel although no one can see me if they were around. I know now what it feels like to die, how to let someone go, and how to fly, I remember your voice and everything you would say, that used to make me want to stay. I remember it like yesterday!but although you cant see me, I'M always still in life, and always around you, I remember your eyes, that are blue I remember how you would hold me and say I love you, only good memories are in my mind, the bad thing behind being dead is not being able to touch your face, or kiss your mouth, or even remember what it felt like, and to find out later you wanted me back, and seeing how it hurt you as my body rests deep  under ground. I had the chance for heaven, I had the chance for hell, I had the chance to stay on earth and seek you a happy life, and make sure your always well, I stayed this life, just for you although I do love, and will always miss kissing you, and my love, I will always cherish you, and I know someday, you will die to, and I will be right by your side holding your hand and waiting for you. Written September 8th, 2001 © on Sep 07 2001 04:29 PM PST, Shelly   0 • 1