my broken heart

as i sit at this chair i wonder about my past-times that take me away am i worth it to most people, maybe and maybe not no one can tell but u i sit here thinking about what i do to others hearts do i tear thim and rip them open like u do with a bad check or do i smile at u with tha goodness in my heart what ever it is u see in me, its not true my life is a bore, my life is the same day in and day  out like i feel i live this life alone do u know what it is to be alone, of course u dont ur just the perfect one who tells me to get over it and move on with my life so i say screw u and the backstreet boys too i cant live this pain i feel, anymore i feel like my existance is nuthn but a bore i just feel as if i want to kill someone  cuz i cant control my own feelings i just say go fuck off somewhere and leave me.... i want to just end my life right now why should u let a bug suffer before it dies why should u let me suffer before i die just put the damn thing out its misery already i felt like i cant do anything right my whole life so i tell a few jokes before i play with my best friend knife the knife just kisses my throat with such a caress that takes my breath away but then he wants to go to sleep instead i hate my life and sometimes i just dont wanna be bothered i just sometimes i want to be alone endless hours on the internet hoping i would find someone that can relate to this pain of mine but what do i see , nothing but a blank stare inside this dying heart of mine my pain, this game, what a shame, my brain, never tha same, keep me sane, black rain, black pain, has no aim,  but never again how do i describe my pain u cant u cant even see inside my eyes, no one can read me in any way u cant feel anything for me u shouldnt u wont or ill turn away from u leave me alone in my world is all i ask of u just go cuz u will never know and thats all i have to say good day Written March 24th, 2002 © on Mar 24 2002 06:33 AM PST   0 • 1