Breitmanns Last Ballads - Cobus Hagelstein

Ich bin ein Deutscher,     und mein name is Cobus Hagelstein,     I coom from Cincinnti,     and I life peyond der Rhein;     Und I dells you all a shdory     dot makes me mad ash blitz,     Pout how a Yankee gompany     vas shvindle me to fits.     I heardt apout dis gompany,     und vished to see dot same,     Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft     vos ids name;     Dot is de name in Sherman     in English it will say     Dot it insures your life mit fire,     ven you de money pay.     Now, I hod a liddle house-line     vhere I life so shtill ash mice,     Und yoost drei tausand dollar     vos dot little pildings brice;     I vos always yoost so happy     ash ein Kaisar in de land     Dill at last I kit in drople,     for mein haus vas abgebrannt.     Den I goes undo dot gompany     und dells em right afay     (Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft),     und I say,     At last de youngest day ist coom     for you to plank de cash,     And you moost bay me monies,     for mine haus is purned to ash.     Den de segredary answered,     All dis is fery drue,     Boot you know ve have de option     to pild your house anew;     Dere ist a lot of beoples     vot burns deir hauser doun,     Den coom to kit de money pack     all over in de toun.     I look indo de bapers     und I find it ash he say,     Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft     need not bay;     So I dells em all to go ahet     und pild anoder shdore,     Und dey make me von in Yankee shdyle     more petter ash pefore.     Den I met der segredary     dereafter on a day,     Of Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft,     und he say,     Youve found oos vellers honoraple     und honest in our line,     Vy tont you go insure     de life of Madame Hagelstein?     I poots mine dum oopon mine nose,     and vinks him mit mine eye,     Und says I cooms to do it     ven de ocan runs dry,     Ven gooses turn to ganders,     und de bigs kits shanged to shvine;     Oh, den I makes insure de life     of Madame Hagelstein.     I haf dried you on insurance,     ash you know, yust vonce pefore,     Und ven mein haus vas abgebrannt     you pild anoder shdore;     Ids drue you pild it goot enough,     boot I dell you allaweil,     I vas liket id moosh petter     if it vas in Sharman shdyle.     Now, if I goes insure my wife     anoder dime mit you     Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft,     I knows vot it would do,     If from dis vorldt Frau Hagelstein     should rise to Himmel life,     Inshtead of paying gelt youd kit     for me a Yankee vife!     I poots mine dum pelow mine eye,     und vinks him merrily,     Und say, Go find soom Deutscherman     dot is more creen ash me.     Deres blendy of dem creen enough,     I know, peyond der Rhein,     But none among dem wears de name     of Cobus Hagelstein.