Egotism. A Letter To J. T. Becher.[1]

1.     If Fate should seal my Death to-morrow,     (Though much I hope she will postpone it,)     I've held a share Joy and Sorrow,     Enough for Ten; and here I own it. 2.     I've lived, as many others live,     And yet, I think, with more enjoyment;     For could I through my days again live,     I'd pass them in the 'same' employment. 3.     That 'is' to say, with 'some exception',     For though I will not make confession,     I've seen too much of man's deception     Ever again to trust profession. 4.     Some sage 'Mammas' with gesture haughty,     Pronounce me quite a youthful Sinner -     But 'Daughters' say, "although he's naughty,     You must not check a 'Young Beginner'!" 5.     I've loved, and many damsels know it -     But whom I don't intend to mention,     As 'certain stanzas' also show it,     'Some' say 'deserving Reprehension'. 6.     Some ancient Dames, of virtue fiery,     (Unless Report does much belie them,)     Have lately made a sharp Enquiry,     And much it 'grieves' me to 'deny' them. 7.     Two whom I lov'd had 'eyes' of 'Blue',     To which I hope you've no objection;     The 'Rest' had eyes of 'darker Hue' -     Each Nymph, of course, was 'all perfection'. 8.     But here I'll close my 'chaste' Description,     Nor say the deeds of animosity;     For 'silence' is the best prescription,     To 'physic' idle curiosity. 9.     Of 'Friends' I've known a 'goodly Hundred' -     For finding 'one' in each acquaintance,     By 'some deceived', by others plunder'd,     'Friendship', to me, was not 'Repentance'. 10.     At 'School' I thought like other 'Children';     Instead of 'Brains', a fine Ingredient,     'Romance', my 'youthful Head bewildering',     To 'Sense' had made me disobedient. 11.     A victim, 'nearly' from affection,     To certain 'very precious scheming',     The still remaining recollection     Has 'cured' my 'boyish soul' of 'Dreaming'. 12.     By Heaven! I rather would forswear     The Earth, and all the joys reserved me,     Than dare again the 'specious Snare',     From which 'my Fate' and 'Heaven preserved' me. 13.     Still I possess some Friends who love me -     In each a much esteemed and true one;     The Wealth of Worlds shall never move me     To quit their Friendship, for a new one. 14.     But Becher! you're a 'reverend pastor',     Now take it in consideration,     Whether for penance I should fast, or     Pray for my 'sins' in expiation. 15.     I own myself the child of 'Folly',     But not so wicked as they make me -     I soon must die of melancholy,     If 'Female' smiles should e'er forsake me. 16.     'Philosophers' have 'never doubted',     That 'Ladies' Lips' were made for 'kisses!'     For 'Love!' I could not live without it,     For such a 'cursed' place as 'This is'. 17.     Say, Becher, I shall be forgiven!     If you don't warrant my salvation,     I must resign all 'Hopes' of 'Heaven'!     For, 'Faith', I can't withstand Temptation.     P.S. - These were written between one and two, after 'midnight'. I have not 'corrected', or 'revised'. Yours, BYRON.