Gregory Wenner

Gregory Wenner's brother married the mother         Of Alma Bell, the daughter of a marriage         The mother made before. Kinship enough         To justify a call on Wenner's power         When Alma Bell was face to face with shame.         And Gregory Wenner went to help the girl,         And for a moment looked on Elenor Murray         Who left the school-room passing through the hall,         A girl of seventeen. He left his business         Of massing millions in the city, to help         Poor Alma Bell, and three years afterward         In the Garden of the Gods he saw again         The face of Elenor Murray - what a fate         For Gregory Wenner!             But when Alma Bell         Wrote him for help his mind was roiled with cares:         A money magnate had signed up a loan         For half a million, to which Wenner added         That much beside, earned since his thirtieth year,         Now forty-two, with which to build a block         Of sixteen stories on a piece of ground         Leased in the loop for nine and ninety years.         But now a crabbed miser, much away,         Following the sun, and reached through agents, lawyers,         Owning the land next to the Wenner land,         Refused to have the sixteen story wall         Adjoin his wall, without he might select         His son-in-law as architect to plan         The sixteen-story block of Gregory Wenner.         And Gregory Wenner caught in such a trap,         The loan already bargained for and bound         In a hard money lender's giant grasp,         Consented to the terms, let son-in-law         Make plans and supervise the work.         Five years         Go by before the evil blossoms fully;         But here's the bud: Gregory Wenner spent         His half-a-million on the building, also         Four hundred thousand of the promised loan,         Made by the money magnate - then behold         The money magnate said: "You cannot have         Another dollar, for the bonds you give         Are scarcely worth the sum delivered now         Pursuant to the contract. I have learned         Your architect has blundered, in five years         Your building will be leaning, soon enough         It will be wrecked by order of the city."         And Gregory Wenner found he spoke the truth.         But went ahead to finish up the building,         And raked and scraped, fell back on friends for loans,         Mortgaged his home for money, just to finish         This sixteen-story building, kept a hope         The future would reclaim him.         Gregory Wenner         Who seemed so powerful in his place in life         Had all along this cancer in his life:         He owned the building, but he owed the money,         And all the time the building took a slant,         By just a little every year. And time         Made matters worse for him, increased his foes         As he stood for the city in its warfares         Against the surface railways, telephones;         And earned thereby the wrath of money lenders,         Who made it hard for him to raise a loan,         Who needed loans habitually. Besides         He had the trouble of an invalid wife         Who went from hospitals to sanitariums,         And traveled south, and went in search of health.         Now Gregory Wenner reaches forty-five,         He's fought a mighty battle, but grows tired.         The building leans a little more each year.         And money, as before, is hard to get.         And yet he lives and keeps a hope.         At last         He does not feel so well, has dizzy spells.         The doctor recommends a change of scene.         And Gregory Wenner starts to see the west.         He visits Denver. Then upon a day         He walks about the Garden of the Gods,         And sees a girl who stands alone and looks         About the Garden's wonders. Then he sees         The girl is Elenor Murray, who has grown         To twenty-years, who looks that seventeen         When first he saw her. He remembers her,         And speaks of Alma Bell, that Alma Bell         Is kindred to him. Where is Alma Bell,         He has not heard about her in these years?         And Elenor Murray colors, and says: "Look,         There is a white cloud on the mountain top."         And thus the talk commences.         Elenor Murray         Shows forth the vital spirit that is hers.         She dances on her toes and crows in wonder,         Flings up her arms in rapture. What a world         Of beauty and of hope! For not her life         Of teaching school, a school of Czechs and Poles         There near LeRoy, since she left school and taught,         These two years now, nor arid life at home,         Her father sullen and her mother saddened;         Nor yet that talk of Alma Bell and her         That like a corpse's gas has scented her,         And made her struggles harder in LeRoy -         Not these have quenched her flame, or made it burn         Less brightly. Though at last she left LeRoy         To fly old things, the dreary home, begin         A new life teaching in Los Angeles.         Gregory Wenner studies her and thinks         That Alma Bell was right to reprimand         Elenor Murray for her reckless ways         Of strolling and of riding. And perhaps         Real things were back of ways to be construed         In innocence or wisdom - for who knows?         His thought ran. Such a pretty face, blue eyes,         And such a buoyant spirit.          So they wandered         About the Garden of the Gods, and took         A meal together at the restaurant.         And as they talked, he told her of himself,         About his wife long ill, this trip for health -         She sensed a music sadness in his soul.         And Gregory Wenner heard her tell her life         Of teaching, of the arid home, the shadow         That fell on her at ten years, when she saw         The hopeless, loveless life of father, mother.         And his great hunger, and his solitude         Reached for the soothing hand of Elenor Murray,         And Elenor Murray having life to give         By her maternal strength and instinct gave.         The man began to laugh, forgot his health,         The leaning building, and the money lenders,         And found his void of spirit growing things -         He loved this girl. And Elenor Murray seeing         This strong man with his love, and seeing too         How she could help him, with that venturesome         And prodigal emotion which was hers         Flung all herself to help him, being a soul         Who tried all things in courage, staked her heart         On good to come.         They took the train together.         They stopped at Santa Cruz, and on the rocks         Heard the Pacific dash himself and watched         The moon upon the water, breathed the scent         Of oriental flowerings. There at last         Under the spell of nature Gregory Wenner         Bowed down his head upon his breast and shook         For those long years of striving and of haggling,         And for this girl, but mostly for a love         That filled him now. And when he spoke again         Of his starved life, his homeless years, the girl,         Her mind resolved through thinking she could serve         This man and bring him happiness, but with heart         Flaming to heaven with the miracle         Of love for him, down looking at her hands         Which fingered nervously her dress's hem,         Said with that gasp which made her voice so sweet:         "Do what you will with me, to ease your heart         And help your life."             And Gregory Wenner shaken,         Astonished and made mad with ecstasy         Pressed her brown head against his breast and wept.         And there at Santa Cruz they lived a week,         Till Elenor Murray went to take her school,         He to the north en route for home.         Five years         Had passed since then. And on this day poor Wenner         Looks from a little office at his building         Visibly leaning now, the building lost,         The bonds foreclosed; this is the very day         A court gives a receiver charge of it.         And he, these several months reduced to deals         In casual properties, in trivial trades,         Hard pressed for money, has gone up and down         Pursuing prospects, possibilities,         Scanning each day financial sheets and looking         For clues to lead to money. And he finds         His strength and hope not what they were before.         His wife is living on, no whit restored.         And Gregory Wenner thinks, would they not say         I killed myself because I lost my building,         If I should kill myself, and leave a note         That business worries drove me to the deed,         My building this day taken, a receiver         In charge of what I builded out of my dream.         And yet he said to self, that would be false:         It's Elenor Murray's death that makes this life         So hard to bear, and thoughts of Elenor Murray         Make life a torture. First that I had to live         Without her as my wife, and next the fact         That I have taken all her life's thought, ruined         Her chance for home and marriage; that I have seen         Elenor Murray struggle in the world,         And go forth to the war with just the thought         To serve, if it should kill her.             Then his mind         Ran over these five years when Elenor Murray         Throughout gave such devotion, constant thought,         Filled all his mind and heart, and kept her voice         Singing or talking in his memory's ear,         In absence with long letters, when together         With passionate utterances of love. The girl         Loved Gregory Wenner, but the girl had found         A comfort for her spiritual solitude,         And got a strength in taking Wenner's strength.         For at the last one soul lives on another.         And Elenor Murray could not live except         She had a soul to live for, and a soul         On which to pour her passion, taking back         The passion of that soul in recompense.         Gregory Wenner served her power and genius         For giving and for taking so to live,         Achieve and flame; and found them in some moods         Somehow demoniac when his spirits sank,         And drink was all that kept him on his feet.         And so when Elenor Murray came to him         And said this life of teaching was too much,         Could not be longer borne, he thought the time         Had come to end the hopeless love. He raised         The money by the hardest means to pay         Elenor Murray's training as a nurse,         By this to set her free from teaching school,         And then he set about to crush the girl         Out of his life.         For Gregory Wenner saw         Between this passion and his failing thought,         And gray hairs coming, fortune slip like sand.         And saw his mind diffuse itself in worries,         In longing for her: found himself at times         Too much in need of drink, and shrank to see         What wishes rose that death might take his wife,         And let him marry Elenor Murray, cure         His life with having her beside him, dreaming         That somehow Elenor Murray could restore         His will and vision, by her passion's touch,         And mother instinct make him whole again.         But if he could not have her for his wife,         And since the girl absorbed him in this life         Of separation which made longing greater,         Just as it lacked the medium to discharge         The great emotion it created, Wenner         Caught up his shreds of strength to crush her out         Of his life, told her so, when he had raised         The money for her training. For he saw         How ruin may overtake a man, and ruin         Pass by the woman, whom the world would judge         As ruined long ago. But look, he thought,         I pity her, not for our sin, if it be,         But that I have absorbed her life; and yet         The girl is mastering life, while I fall down.         She has absorbed me, if the wrong lies here.         And thus his thought went round.          And Elenor Murray         Accepted what he said and went her way         With words like these: "My love and prayers are yours         While life is with us." Then she turned to study,         And toiled each day till night brought such fatigue         That sleep fell on her. Was it to forget?         And meanwhile she embraced the faith and poured         Her passion driven by a rapturous will         Into religion, trod her path in silence,         Save for a card at Christmas time for him,         Sometimes a little message from some place         Whereto her duty called her.         Gregory Wenner         Stands at the window of his desolate office,         And looks out on his sixteen-story building         Irrevocably lost this day. His mind runs back         To that day in the Garden of the Gods,         That night at Santa Cruz, and then his eyes         Made piercing sharp by sorrow cleave the clay         That lies upon the face of Elenor Murray,         And see the flesh of her the worms have now.         How strange, he thinks, to flit into this life         Singing and radiant, to suffer, toil,         To serve in the war, return to girlhood's scenes,         To die, to be a memory for a day,         Then be forgotten. O, this life of ours.         Why is not God ashamed for graveyards, why         So thoughtless of our passion he lets play         This tragedy.             And Gregory Wenner thought         About the day he stood here, even as now         And heard a step, a voice, and looked around         Saw Elenor Murray, felt her arms again,         Her kiss upon his cheek, and saw her face         As light was beating on it, heard her gasp         In ecstasy for going to the war,         To which that day she gave her pledge. And heard         Her words of consecration. Heard her say,         As though she were that passionate Heloise         Brought into life again: "All I have done         Was done for love of you, all I have asked         Was only you, not what belonged to you.         I did not hope for marriage or for gifts.         I have not gratified my will, desires,         But yours I sought to gratify. I have longed         To be yours wholly, I have kept for self         Nothing, have lived for you, have lived for you         These years when you thought best to crush me out.         And now though there's a secret in my heart,         Not wholly known to me, still I can know it         By seeing you again, I think, by touching         Your hand again. Your life has tortured me,         Both for itself, and since I could not give         Out of my heart enough to make your life         A way of peace, a way of happiness."         Then Gregory Wenner thought how she looked down         And said: "Since I go to the war, would God         Look with disfavor on us if you took me         In your arms wholly once again? My friend,         Not with the thought to leave me soon, but sleeping         Like mates, as birds do, making sleep so sweet         Close to each other as God means we should.         I mingle love of God with love of you,         And in the night-time I can pray for you         With you beside me, find God closer then.         Who knows, you may take strength from such an hour."         Then Gregory Wenner lived that night again,         And the next morning when she rose and shook,         As it were night gathered dew upon fresh wings,         The vital water from her glowing flesh.         And shook her hair out, laughed and said to him:         "Courage and peace, my friend." And how they passed         Among the multitude, when he took her hand         And said farewell, and hastened to this room         To seek for chances in another day,         And never saw her more.         And all these thoughts         Coming on Gregory Wenner swept his soul         Till it seemed like a skiff in mid-sea under         A sky unreckoning, where neither bread,         Nor water, save salt water, were for lips.         And over him descended a blank light         Of life's futility, since now this hour         Life dropped the mask and showed him just a skull.         And a strange fluttering of the nerves came on him,         So that he clutched the window frame, lest he         Spring from the window to the street below.         And he was seized with fear that said to fly,         Go somewhere, find some one, so to draw out         This madness which was one with him and in him,         And which some one in pity must relieve,         Something must cure. And in this sudden horror         Of self, this ebbing of the tides of life,         Leaving his shores to visions, where he saw         Horrible creatures stir amid the slime,         Gregory Wenner hurried from the room         And walked the streets to find his thought again         Wherewith to judge if he should kill himself         Or look to find a path in life once more.         And Gregory Wenner sitting in his club         Wrote to his brother thus: "I cannot live         Now that my business is so tangled up,         Bury my body by my father's side."         Next day the papers headlined Gregory Wenner:         "Loss of a building drives to suicide."         *        *        *        *        *         Elenor Murray's death kills Gregory Wenner         And Gregory Wenner dying make a riffle         In Mrs. Wenner's life - reveals to her         A secret long concealed: -