How The Fatuous Wish Of A Peasant Came True

An excellent peasant,     Of character pleasant,     Once lived in a hut with his wife.     He was cheerful and docile,     But such an old fossil     You wouldn't meet twice in your life.     His notions were all without reason or rhyme,     Such dullness in any one else were a crime,     But the folly pig-headed     To which he was wedded     Was so deep imbedded,     it touched the sublime!     He frequently stated     Such quite antiquated     And singular doctrines as these:     "Do good unto others!     All men are your brothers!"     (Of course he forgot the Chinese!)     He said that all men were made equal and free,     (That's true if they're born on our side of the sea!)     That truth should be spoken,     And pledges unbroken:     (Now where, by that token,     would most of us be?)     One day, as his pottage     He ate in his cottage,     A fairy stepped up to the door;     Upon it she hammered,     And meekly she stammered:     "A morsel of food I implore."     He gave her sardines, and a biscuit or two,     And she said in reply, when her luncheon was through,     "In return for these dishes     Of bread and of fishes     The first of your wishes     I'll make to come true!"     That nincompoop peasant     Accepted the present,     (As most of us probably would,)     And, thinking her bounty     To turn to account, he     Said: "Now I'll do somebody good!     I won't ask a thing for myself or my wife,     But I'll make all my neighbors with happiness rife.     Whate'er their conditions,     Henceforward, physicians     And indispositions     they're rid of for life!"     These words energetic     The fairy's prophetic     Announcement brought instantly true:     With singular quickness     Each victim of sickness     Was made over, better than new,     And people who formerly thought they were doomed     With almost obstreperous healthiness bloomed,     And each had some platitude,     Teeming with gratitude,     For the new attitude     life had assumed.     Our friend's satisfaction     Concerning his action     Was keen, but exceedingly brief.     The wrathful condition     Of every physician     In town was surpassing belief!     Professional nurses were plunged in despair,     And chemists shook passionate fists in the air:     They called at his dwelling,     With violence swelling,     His greeting repelling     with arrogant stare.     They beat and they battered,     They slammed and they shattered,     And did him such serious harm,     That, after their labors,     His wife told the neighbors     They'd caused her excessive alarm!     They then set to work on his various ills,     And plied him with liniments, powders, and pills,     And charged him so dearly     That all of them nearly     Made double the yearly     amount of their bills.     This Moral by the tale is taught:--     The wish is father to the thought.     (We'd oftentimes escape the worst     If but the thinking part came first!)