Irish Schoolmaster, The

"Come here, my boy; hould up your head,         And look like a jintleman, Sir;     Jist tell me who King David was,         Now tell me if you can, Sir."     "King David was a mighty man,         And he was King of Spain, Sir;     His eldest daughter 'Jessie' was         The 'Flower of Dunblane,' Sir."     "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,         And look like a jintleman, Sir;     Sir Isaac Newton, who was he?         Now tell me if you can, Sir."     "Sir Isaac Newton was the boy         That climbed the apple-tree, Sir;     He then fell down and broke his crown,         And lost his gravity, Sir."     "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,         And look like a jintleman, Sir;     Jist tell me who ould Marmion was,         Now tell me if you can, Sir."     "Ould Marmion was a soldier bold,         But he went all to pot, Sir;     He was hanged upon the gallows tree,         For killing Sir Walter Scott, Sir."     "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,         And look like a jintleman, Sir;     Jist tell me who Sir Rob Roy was;         Now tell me if you can, Sir."     "Sir Rob Roy was a tailor to         The King of the Cannibal Islands;     He spoiled a pair of breeches, and         Was banished to the Highlands."     "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,         And look like a jintleman, Sir;     Then, Bonaparte, say, who was he?         Now tell me if you can, Sir."     "Ould Bonaparte was King of France         Before the Revolution;     But he was kilt at Waterloo,         Which ruined his constitution."     "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,         And look like a jintleman, Sir;     Jist tell me who King Jonah was;         Now tell me if you can, Sir."     "King Jonah was the strangest man         That ever wore a crown, Sir;     For though the whale did swallow him,         It couldn't keep him down, Sir."     "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,         And look like a jintleman, Sir;     Jist tell me who that Moses was;         Now tell me if you can, Sir."     "Shure Moses was the Christian name         Of good King Pharaoh's daughter;     She was a milkmaid, and she took         A profit from the water."     "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,         And look like a jintleman, Sir;     Jist tell me now where Dublin is;         Now tell me if you can, Sir."     "Och, Dublin is a town in Cork,         And built on the equator;     It's close to Mount Vesuvius,         And watered by the 'craythur.'"     "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,         And look like a jintleman, Sir;     Jist tell me now where London is;         Now tell me if you can, Sir."     "Och, London is a town in Spain;         'Twas lost in the earthquake, Sir;     The cockneys murther English there,         Whenever they do spake, Sir."     "You're right, my boy; hould up your head,         Ye're now a jintleman, Sir;     For in history and geography         I've taught you all I can, Sir.     And if any one should ask you now,         Where you got all your knowledge,     Jist tell them 'twas from Paddy Blake,         Of Bally Blarney College."