The Hospitable Caledonian And The Thankless Viper

A Caledonian piper     Who was walking on the wold     Nearly stepped upon a viper     Rendered torpid by the cold;     By the sight of her admonished,     He forbore to plant his boot,     But he showed he was astonished     By the way he muttered "Hoot!"     Now this simple-minded piper     Such a kindly nature had     That he lifted up the viper     And bestowed her in his plaid.     "Though the Scot is stern, at least he     No unhappy creature spurns,     'Sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,'"     Quoth the piper (quoting Burns).     This was unaffected kindness,     But there was, to state the fact,     Just a slight soupcon of blindness     In his charitable act.     If you'd watched the piper, shortly     You'd have seen him leap aloft,     As this snake, of ways uncourtly,     Bit him suddenly and oft.     There was really no excuse for     This, the viper's cruel work,     And the piper found a use for     Words he'd never learned at kirk;     But the biting was so thorough     That although the doctors tried,     Not the best in Edinburgh     Could assist him, and he died.     And THE MORAL is: The piper     Of the matter made a botch;     One can hardly blame the viper     If she took a nip of Scotch,     For she only did what he did,     And his nippie wasn't small,     Otherwise, you see, he needed     Not have seen the snake at all.