The Kaiser's "Place In The Sun"

The Kaiser is seeking "a place in the Sun"             But I fear he'll have to wait,         Till another eclipse has dulled its face             And the Allies have woven his fate:         For the "spots" on the Sun are all occupied             With a race descended from Mars;         So there's no place in the heavens for schrecklich Wilhelm,             Not even among the Stars.         What boots it, Wilhelm, that your guns are big,             And your Zeppelins soar by night,         Since against you are leagued the earth and stars             And you're sure to lose in the fight.         You have drenched the world with heroic blood,             And stained the record of Man,         But you'll presently get your "place in the Sun,"             Yes, the hottest since time began,         For T. J. Murphy.