The Mystic Selvagee.

Perhaps already you may know     Sir Blennerhasset Portico?     A Captain in the Navy, he -     A Baronet and K.C.B.     You do? I thought so!     It was that Captain's favourite whim     (A notion not confined to him)     That Rodney was the greatest tar     Who ever wielded capstan-bar.     He had been taught so.     "Benbow! Cornwallis! Hood! Belay!     Compared with Rodney" he would say -     "No other tar is worth a rap!     The great Lord Rodney was the chap     The French to polish!     "Though, mind you, I respect Lord Hood;     Cornwallis, too, was rather good;     Benbow could enemies repel,     Lord Nelson, too, was pretty well -     That is, tol-lol-ish!"     Sir Blennerhasset spent his days     In learning Rodney's little ways,     And closely imitated, too,     His mode of talking to his crew -     His port and paces.     An ancient tar he tried to catch     Who'd served in Rodney's famous batch;     But since his time long years have fled,     And Rodney's tars are mostly dead:     Eheu fugaces!     But after searching near and far,     At last he found an ancient tar     Who served with Rodney and his crew     Against the French in 'Eighty-two,     (That gained the peerage).     He gave him fifty pounds a year,     His rum, his baccy, and his beer;     And had a comfortable den     Rigged up in what, by merchantmen,     Is called the steerage.     "Now, Jasper" 't was that sailor's name -     "Don't fear that you'll incur my blame     By saying, when it seems to you,     That there is anything I do     That Rodney wouldn't."     The ancient sailor turned his quid,     Prepared to do as he was bid:     "Ay, ay, yer honour; to begin,     You've done away with 'swifting in' -     Well, sir, you shouldn't!     "Upon your spars I see you've clapped     Peak halliard blocks, all iron-capped.     I would not christen that a crime,     But 'twas not done in Rodney's time.     It looks half-witted!     Upon your maintop-stay, I see,     You always clap a selvagee!     Your stays, I see, are equalized -     No vessel, such as Rodney prized,     Would thus be fitted!     "And Rodney, honoured sir, would grin     To see you turning deadeyes in,     Not UP, as in the ancient way,     But downwards, like a cutter's stay -     You didn't oughter;     Besides, in seizing shrouds on board,     Breast backstays you have quite ignored;     Great RODNEY kept unto the last     Breast backstays on topgallant mast -     They make it tauter."     Sir Blennerhasset "swifted in,"     Turned deadeyes up, and lent a fin     To strip (as told by Jasper Knox)     The iron capping from his blocks,     Where there was any.     Sir Blennerhasset does away,     With selvagees from maintop-stay;     And though it makes his sailors stare,     He rigs breast backstays everywhere -     In fact, too many.     One morning, when the saucy craft     Lay calmed, old Jasper toddled aft.     "My mind misgives me, sir, that we     Were wrong about that selvagee -     I should restore it."     "Good," said the Captain, and that day     Restored it to the maintop-stay.     Well-practised sailors often make     A much more serious mistake,     And then ignore it.     Next day old Jasper came once more:     "I think, sir, I was right before."     Well, up the mast the sailors skipped,     The selvagee was soon unshipped,     And all were merry.     Again a day, and Jasper came:     "I p'r'aps deserve your honour's blame,     I can't make up my mind," said he,     "About that cursed selvagee -     It's foolish very.     "On Monday night I could have sworn     That maintop-stay it should adorn,     On Tuesday morning I could swear     That selvagee should not be there.     The knot's a rasper!"     "Oh, you be hanged," said Captain P.,     "Here, go ashore at Caribbee.     Get out good bye shove off all right!"     Old JASPER soon was out of sight -     Farewell, old Jasper!