The Two Monkeys.

The scholar, of his learning vain,             Beholds the fop with deep disdain:             The fop, with spirit as discerning,             Looks down upon the man of learning.             The Spanish Don - a solemn strutter -             Despises Gallic airs and flutter:             Whilst the Gaul ridicules the Don,             And John Bull looks with like disdain             On manners both of France and Spain:             They hold, indeed, a deed tripartite             To see each other in a tart light.             'Tis thus the bard is scorned by those             Who only deal in learned prose:             Whilst bards of quick imagination             Are hipped by the dull prose oration.             Men scoff at apes: apes scoff at them;             And all - except themselves - contemn.             Two monkeys visited the fair,             Like critics, with Parnassian sneer;             They forced a way through draggled folk,             Laughed at Jack Pudding and his joke,             Then bought their tickets for the show,             And squatted in the foremost row;             Their cut-of-jib was there so stunning,             It set the idle rabble funning.             "Brother," one Pug to other said,             "The mob is certainly ill-bred."             A sentiment which found no favour,             And the retorts were of ill-savour.             The clown with entrance stopped the jar -             Head over heels - with "Here we are!"             The tumblers made their somersets,             The vaulters made tremendous jets;             The dancer on the rope did wonders,             And drew down the applauses - thunders,             As Numa once elicited             From Jove Elicius, so they did.             "Behold the imitative crew!"             Said Pug: "they copy me and you,             And clumsily. I'd like to see             Them jump from forest-tree to tree;             I'd like to see them, on a twig,             Perform a slip-slap or a rig;             And yet it pleasant is to know             The boobies estimate us so."             "Brother!" the other Pug replied,             "They do their best - with us their guide;             We must allow praise is their due,             Whilst they example good pursue;             But when I see them take a flight,             Or walk, like they walk - bolt upright,             Because we sometimes walk on two -             I hate the imitative crew!"