Twenty-Two.

I'm twenty-two - I'm twenty-two -         They gaily give me joy,     As if I should be glad to hear         That I was less a boy.     They do not know how carelessly         Their words have given pain,     To one whose heart would leap to be         A happy boy again.     I had a light and careless heart         When this brief year began,     And then I pray'd that I might be         A grave and perfect man.     The world was like a blessed dream         Of joyous coming years -     I did not know its manliness         Was but to wake in tears.     A change has on my spirit come,         I am forever sad;     The light has all departed now         My early feelings had;     I used to love the morning grey,         The twilight's quiet deep,     But now like shadows on the sea,         Upon my thoughts they creep.     And love was like a holy star,         When this brief year was young,     And my whole worship of the sky         On one sweet ray was flung;     But worldly things have come between,         And shut it from my sight,     And though the star shines purely yet,         I mourn its hidden light.     And fame! I bent to it the knee,         And bow'd to it my brow,     And it is like a coal upon         My living spirit now -     But when I pray'd for burning fire         To touch the soul I bow'd,     I did not know the lightning flash         Would come in such a cloud.     Ye give me joy! Is it because         Another year has fled? -     That I am farther from my youth,         And nearer to the dead?     Is it because my cares have come? -         My happy boyhood o'er? -     Because the visions I have lov'd         Will visit me no more?     Oh, tell me not that ye are glad!         I cannot smile it back;     I've found no flower, and seen no light         On manhood's weary track.     My love is deep - ambition deep -         And heart and mind will on -     But love is fainting by the way,         And fame consumes ere won.