A Pin

Oh! I know a certain woman who is reckoned with the good,     But she fills me with more terror than a raging lion could.     The little chills run up and down my spine whene'er we meet,     Though she seems a gentle creature and she's very trim and neat.     And she has a thousand virtues and not one acknowledged sin,     But she is the sort of person you could liken to a pin.     And she pricks you, and she sticks you, in a way that can't be said -     When you seek for what has hurt you, why, you cannot find the head.     But she fills you with discomfort and exasperating pain -     If anybody asks you why, you really can't explain.     A pin is such a tiny thing - of that there is no doubt -     Yet when it's sticking in your flesh, you're wretched till it's out!     She is wonderfully observing.    When she meets a pretty girl     She is always sure to tell her if her "bang" is out of curl.     And she is so sympathetic; to her friend who's much admired,     She is often heard remarking: "Dear, you look so worn and tired!"     And she is a careful critic; for on yesterday she eyed     The new dress I was airing with a woman's natural pride,     And she said: "Oh, how becoming!" and then softly added, "It     Is really a misfortune that the basque is such a fit."     Then she said: "If you had heard me yestereve, I'm sure, my friend,     You would say I am a champion who knows how to defend."     And she left me with a feeling - most unpleasant, I aver -     That the whole world would despise me if it hadn't been for her.     Whenever I encounter her, in such a nameless way     She gives me the impression I am at my worst that day;     And the hat that was imported (and that cost me half a sonnet)     With just one glance from her round eyes becomes a Bowery bonnet.     She is always bright and smiling, sharp and shining for a thrust;     Use does not seem to blunt her point, nor does she gather rust.     Oh!    I wish some hapless specimen of mankind would begin     To tidy up the world for me, by picking up this pin.