Cosmopolitan Woman, A

She went round and asked subscriptions     For the heathen black Egyptians     And the Terra del Fuegians,             She did;     For the tribes round Athabasca,     And the men of Madagascar,     And the poor souls of Alaska,             So she did;     She longed, she said, to buy     Jelly, cake, and jam, and pie,     For the Anthropophagi,             So she did.     Her heart ached for the Australians     And the Borriobooli-Ghalians,     And the poor dear Amahagger,             Yes, it did;     And she loved the black Numidian,     And the ebon Abyssinian,     And the charcoal-coloured Guinean,             Oh, she did!     And she said she'd cross the seas     With a ship of bread and cheese     For those starving Chimpanzees,             So she did.     How she loved the cold Norwegian     And the poor half-melted Feejeean,     And the dear Molucca Islander,             She did:     She sent tins of red tomato     To the tribes beyond the Equator,     But her husband ate potato,             So he did;     The poor helpless, homeless thing     (My voice falters as I sing)     Tied his clothes up with a string,             Yes, he did.