Egotism. A Letter To J. T. Becher. [1]

1. If Fate should seal my Death to-morrow, (Though much I hope she will postpone it,) I've held a share Joy and Sorrow, Enough for Ten; and here I own it. 2. I've lived, as many others live, And yet, I think, with more enjoyment; For could I through my days again live, I'd pass them in the 'same' employment. 3. That 'is' to say, with 'some exception', For though I will not make confession, I've seen too much of man's deception Ever again to trust profession. 4. Some sage 'Mammas' with gesture haughty, Pronounce me quite a youthful Sinner - But 'Daughters' say, "although he's naughty, You must not check a 'Young Beginner'!" 5. I've loved, and many damsels know it - But whom I don't intend to mention, As 'certain stanzas' also show it, 'Some' say 'deserving Reprehension'. 6. Some ancient Dames, of virtue fiery, (Unless Report does much belie them,) Have lately made a sharp Enquiry, And much it 'grieves' me to 'deny' them. 7. Two whom I lov'd had 'eyes' of 'Blue', To which I hope you've no objection; The 'Rest' had eyes of 'darker Hue' - Each Nymph, of course, was 'all perfection'. 8. But here I'll close my 'chaste' Description, Nor say the deeds of animosity; For 'silence' is the best prescription, To 'physic' idle curiosity. 9. Of 'Friends' I've known a 'goodly Hundred' - For finding 'one' in each acquaintance, By 'some deceived', by others plunder'd, 'Friendship', to me, was not 'Repentance'. 10. At 'School' I thought like other 'Children'; Instead of 'Brains', a fine Ingredient, 'Romance', my 'youthful Head bewildering', To 'Sense' had made me disobedient. 11. A victim, 'nearly' from affection, To certain 'very precious scheming', The still remaining recollection Has 'cured' my 'boyish soul' of 'Dreaming'. 12. By Heaven! I rather would forswear The Earth, and all the joys reserved me, Than dare again the 'specious Snare', From which 'my Fate' and 'Heaven preserved' me. 13. Still I possess some Friends who love me - In each a much esteemed and true one; The Wealth of Worlds shall never move me To quit their Friendship, for a new one. 14. But Becher! you're a 'reverend pastor', Now take it in consideration, Whether for penance I should fast, or Pray for my 'sins' in expiation. 15. I own myself the child of 'Folly', But not so wicked as they make me - I soon must die of melancholy, If 'Female' smiles should e'er forsake me. 16. 'Philosophers' have 'never doubted', That 'Ladies' Lips' were made for 'kisses!' For 'Love!' I could not live without it, For such a 'cursed' place as 'This is'. 17. Say, Becher, I shall be forgiven! If you don't warrant my salvation, I must resign all 'Hopes' of 'Heaven'! For, 'Faith', I can't withstand Temptation. P.S. - These were written between one and two, after 'midnight'. I have not 'corrected', or 'revised'. Yours, BYRON.