Finnigin To Flannigan

Superintendent wuz Flannigan;     Boss av the siction wuz Finnigin;     Whiniver the kyars got offen the thrack,     An' muddled up things t' th' divil an' back,     Finnigin writ it to Flannigan,     Afther the wrick wuz all on ag'in;         That is, this Finnigin         Repoorted to Flannigan.     Whin Finnigin furst writ to Flannigan,     He writed tin pages, did Finnigin,     An' he tould jist how the smash occurred;     Full minny a tajus, blunderin' wurrd     Did Finnigin write to Flannigan     Afther the cars had gone on ag'in.         That wuz how Finnigin         Repoorted to Flannigan.     Now Flannigan knowed more than Finnigin,     He'd more idjucation, had Flannigan;     An' it wore'm clane an' completely out     To tell what Finnigin writ about     In his writin' to Muster Flannigan.     So he writed back to Finnigin:     "Don't do sich a sin ag'in;     Make 'em brief, Finnigin!"     Whin Finnigin got this from Flannigan,     He blushed rosy rid, did Finnigin;     An' he said: "I'll gamble a whole month's pa-ay     That it will be minny an' minny a da-ay     Befoore Sup'rintindint, that's Flannigan,     Gits a whack at this very same sin ag'in.         From Finnigin to Flannigan         Repoorts won't be long ag'in."             *        *        *        *        *     Wan da-ay, on the siction av Finnigin,     On the road sup'rintinded by Flannigan,     A rail give way on a bit av a curve,     An' some kyars went off as they made the swerve.     "There's nobody hurted," sez Finnigin,     "But repoorts must be made to Flannigan."         An' he winked at McGorrigan,         As married a Finnigin.     He wuz shantyin' thin, wuz Finnigin,     As minny a railroader's been ag'in,     An' the shmoky ol' lamp wuz burnin' bright     In Finnigin's shanty all that night,     Bilin' down his repoort, was Finnigin!     An' he writed this here: "Muster Flannigan:         Off ag'in, on ag'in,         Gone ag'in, Finnigin."