Good Little Girls

Although of native maids the cream,     We're brought up on the English scheme -     The best of all     For great and small     Who modesty adore.     For English girls are good as gold,     Extremely modest (so we're told),     Demurely coy - divinely cold -     And we are that - and more.     To please papa, who argues thus -     All girls should mould themselves on us,     Because we are,     By furlongs far,     The best of all the bunch;     We show ourselves to loud applause     From ten to four without a pause -     Which is an awkward time because     It cuts into our lunch.     Oh, maids of high and low degree,     Whose social code is rather free,     Please look at us and you will see     What good young ladies ought to be!     And as we stand, like clockwork toys,     A lecturer papa employs     To puff and praise     Our modest ways     And guileless character -     Our well-known blush - our downcast eyes -     Our famous look of mild surprise     (Which competition still defies) -     Our celebrated "Sir!!!"     Then all the crowd take down our looks     In pocket memorandum books.     To diagnose,     Our modest pose     The kodaks do their best:     If evidence you would possess     Of what is maiden bashfulness,     You only need a button press -     And WE do all the rest.