Lord Lundy

Who was too Freely Moved to Tears, and thereby ruined his Political Career     Lord Lundy from his earliest years     Was far too freely moved to Tears.     For instance if his Mother said,     "Lundy! It's time to go to Bed!"     He bellowed like a Little Turk.     Or if his father Lord Dunquerque     Said "Hi!" in a Commanding Tone,     "Hi, Lundy! Leave the Cat alone!"     Lord Lundy, letting go its tail,     Would raise so terrible a wail     As moved His Grandpapa the Duke     To utter the severe rebuke:     "When I, Sir! was a little Boy,     An Animal was not a Toy!"     His father's Elder Sister, who     Was married to a Parvenoo,     Confided to Her Husband, Drat!     The Miserable, Peevish Brat!     Why don't they drown the Little Beast?"     Suggestions which, to say the least,     Are not what we expect to hear     From Daughters of an English Peer.     His Grandmamma, His Mother's Mother,     Who had some dignity or other,     The Garter, or no matter what,     I can't remember all the Lot!     Said "Oh! That I were Brisk and Spry     To give him that for which to cry!"     (An empty wish, alas! For she     Was Blind and nearly ninety-three).     The Dear Old Butler thought-but there!     I really neither know nor care     For what the Dear Old Butler thought!     In my opinion, Butlers ought     To know their place, and not to play     The Old Retainer night and day.     I'm getting tired and so are you,     Let's cut the poem into two! Second Part     It happened to Lord Lundy then,     As happens to so many men:     Towards the age of twenty-six,     They shoved him into politics;     In which profession he commanded     The Income that his rank demanded     In turn as Secretary for     India, the Colonies, and War.     But very soon his friends began     To doubt is he were quite the man:     Thus if a member rose to say     (As members do from day to day),     "Arising out of that reply . . .!"     Lord Lundy would begin to cry.     A Hint at harmless little jobs     Would shake him with convulsive sobs.     While as for Revelations, these     Would simply bring him to his knees,     And leave him whimpering like a child.     It drove his colleagues raving wild!     They let him sink from Post to Post,     From fifteen hundred at the most     To eight, and barely six, and then     To be Curator of Big Ben!. . .     And finally there came a Threat     To oust him from the Cabinet!     The Duke, his aged grand-sire, bore     The shame till he could bear no more.     He rallied his declining powers,     Summoned the youth to Brackley Towers,     And bitterly addressed him thus,     "Sir! you have disappointed us!     We had intended you to be     The next Prime Minister but three:     The stocks were sold; the Press was squared:     The Middle Class was quite prepared.     But as it is! . . . My language fails!     Go out and govern New South Wales!"     The Aged Patriot groaned and died:     And gracious! how Lord Lundy cried!