Mona Lisa

Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa!     Have you gone? Great Julius Caesar!     Who's the Chap so bold and pinchey     Thus to swipe the great da Vinci,     Taking France's first Chef d'oeuvre     Squarely from old Mr. Louvre,     Easy as some pocket-picker     Would remove our handkerchicker     As we ride in careless folly     On some gaily bounding trolley?             Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa,     Who's your Captor? Doubtless he's a     Crafty sort of treasure-seeker,     Ne'er a Turpin e'er was sleeker,     But, alas, if he can win you     Easily as I could chin you,     What is safe in all the nations     From his dreadful depredations?     He's the style of Chap, I'm thinkin',     Who will drive us all to drinkin'!             Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa,     Next he'll swipe the Tower of Pisa,     Pulling it from out its socket     For to hide it in his pocket;     Or perhaps he'll up and steal, O,     Madame Venus, late of Milo;     Or maybe while on the grab he     Will annex Westminster Abbey,     And elope with that distinguished     Heap of Ashes long extinguished.             Maybe too, O Mona Lisa,     He will come across the seas a,     Searching for the style of treasure     That we have in richest measure.     Sunset Cox's brazen statue,     Have a care lest he shall catch you!     Or maybe he'll set his eye on     Hammerstein's, or the Flatiron,     Or some bit of White Wash done     By those lads at Washington,     Truly he's a crafty geezer,     Is your Captor, Mona Lisa!