Mrs. Judge Jenkins

Maud Muller all that summer day     Raked the meadow sweet with hay;     Yet, looking down the distant lane,     She hoped the Judge would come again.     But when he came, with smile and bow,     Maud only blushed, and stammered, Ha-ow?     And spoke of her pa, and wondered whether     Hed give consent they should wed together.     Old Muller burst in tears, and then     Begged that the Judge would lend him ten;     For trade was dull, and wages low,     And the craps, this year, were somewhat slow.     And ere the languid summer died,     Sweet Maud became the Judges bride.     But on the day that they were mated,     Mauds brother Bob was intoxicated;     And Mauds relations, twelve in all,     Were very drunk at the Judges hall.     And when the summer came again,     The young bride bore him babies twain;     And the Judge was blest, but thought it strange     That bearing children made such a change;     For Maud grew broad and red and stout,     And the waist that his arm once clasped about     Was more than he now could span; and he     Sighed as he pondered, ruefully,     How that which in Maud was native grace     In Mrs. Jenkins was out of place;     And thought of the twins, and wished that they     Looked less like the men who raked the hay     On Mullers farm, and dreamed with pain     Of the day he wandered down the lane.     And looking down that dreary track,     He half regretted that he came back;     For, had he waited, he might have wed     Some maiden fair and thoroughbred;     For there be women fair as she,     Whose verbs and nouns do more agree.     Alas for maiden! alas for judge!     And the sentimental, thats one-half fudge;     For Maud soon thought the Judge a bore,     With all his learning and all his lore;     And the Judge would have bartered Mauds fair face     For more refinement and social grace.     If, of all words of tongue and pen,     The saddest are, It might have been,     More sad are these we daily see:     It is, but hadnt ought to be.